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To: BalloonsSuck.com

LOL...I love the website and content. I also happen to have worked for Fred Martell building Balloon water race games for years in Asbury Park. How do (or did) you know the history of the water game and Fred? Although the 1st incarnation was really using live goldfish, your dart theory is pretty good.

Rich Sullivan
To: RichSullivan@BalloonsSuck.com

Rich,

Thank you for your kind words. We here at BalloonsSuck.com enjoy nothing more than hearing from the many latex hating persons we encounter through our fellowship. We take our hatred of the inflatable menace quite seriously and learned about the grand doings of Mr. Martell through our many years of exhaustive research. We feel strongly that without the research, there can indeed be no cure to this horrible affliction. It is unfortunate however, that the facts we uncover are unnecessarily subject to our delusional interpretation and therefore usually delivered in our own, well, let's call it "special" way.

Regardless, we do appreciate your taking the time to email us and hope that if you haven't already, you will pledge your relentless and merciless wrath towards ridding the world of the one thing we hate most. M#th%R F&^KING BALLOONS!! Please tell your friends about our site. Wait, don't stop there, tell your enemies also, tell your family, your in-laws, your out-laws, tell your dog. You get the picture, tell everyone!

Get popping,

The Webmaster
We Get Email!
We Respond!
To: BalloonsSuck.com

Just an observation. I notice a lot of angry, negative feelings toward balloons on your web site. This is in direct opposition to the joyous feeling balloons are meant to give you. Whether you know it or not balloons do bring joy to many people of all nations. I am one of those people. In fact I love balloons. Balloons are one of the simple joys of life. God put them here for all of us to enjoy. I think your angry, nasty sentiments against balloons are a misguided attempt to gain attention. Well you have mine, if only for a moment and all I can say is you should go get some balloons and turn your frown upside down. Balloons will make you smile ! I hope you will follow my directions and let balloons fill your life with happiness.

Ricky
To: RickyRocket@BalloonsSuck.com

Rick,

May we call you Richard?

We here at BalloonSuck.com join in celebration with you regarding your amazing intellect and brilliant powers of observation. We were certain that our loathing of balloons would go unnoticed and worked feverishly to hide our true feelings to this end. We were unaware that we would be visited by such sheer, undeniable, Mensa-like personalities like yourself, who would instantaneously see through our facade and peg us for the balloon haters that we are.

Tell us Ricky, what was your first clue that we disliked balloons? Was it the name of the website perhaps? Or your keen understanding of the words "crap bag" when used in unison? Or maybe it was the fact that every page of our site is dedicated to how much we despise inflatable plastic? However it happened, we stand in awe of your massive and inspiring intellect. Your email... wait, to call something this magnificent "email" would be an insult. Your "electronic literature" caused such a stir amongst us that we called an emergency meeting of all BalloonsSuck.com executives and immediately re-evaluated our entire stance on everything. Even our President, the Supreme Balloon Hater herself, considered having an English muffin for breakfast














instead of her normal fruit salad. Granted, the largest part of the session was spend debating whether you were "Ricky" a male, or "Ricky" a female. It was determined that anyone who is so infatuated with a bloated, barely-talented, glam-drummer that they assume his persona ought to be a woman. We decided that the possibility of you being a man is far too difficult for us to comprehend, especially when we factor in the ultra flaming use of "totallyhotrockstar" as an email address.

Seriously Rick, we like to think that we value the opinion of everyone that visits our site, but quite honestly, we couldn't give less of a shit about yours.
Thank you for showing us beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we hate a lot more than just balloons.

Sincerely,

The Staff at BalloonsSuck.com

By the way, your email prompted us to do a little reading. After consulting the King James Bible, the Koran, Torah, Buddha-Dharma and the Codex Gigas, We can find no reference to when "God" gave us balloons. Although, if we had to guess, we'd say it's most likely that we would have found such information in the latter of these, since we all know they came from HELL.